


right where you want me to be

by bluelinerr



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hotel X, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25275475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelinerr/pseuds/bluelinerr
Summary: The Penguins are in Toronto and the Avalanche are in Edmonton when Sid learns his best friend is rooming with his teammates.Sid's sudden jealousy leads him to spending time with Hart but accidentally forgetting about Mac in the process. Now Mac is the jealous one, both of them trying to figure out where to go from here.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Nathan MacKinnon
Kudos: 32





	right where you want me to be

**Author's Note:**

> _Can you hear me?  
>  I write so much that it makes me sick  
> That is all about you  
> Let's drop everything  
> And not come back 'til next fall  
> Everyone knows that you've got me  
> Right where you want me to be _
> 
> this is fiction, please don't read if you feel uncomfortable or if you know anyone in this story etc etc etc

Sid let his suitcase fall to the ground as he stepped inside his new temporary living quarters. He was on the 14th floor of Hotel X, where he was hopefully planning on staying for weeks as the playoffs finally started. Most of his team were on the same floor as him but he felt fortunate to be able to have a luxury room to himself with a breathtaking view of the CN Tower outside his window. 

He sat on the bed and started up the television. Practice was early tomorrow morning, might as well just relax while he had the time as he started mindlessly flipping through the channels to see if anything caught his attention. He was about to settle on a golf channel when he felt his phone buzz next to him. 

His heart felt a little warmer when he saw it was a facetime request from Mac. 

Sid accepted, naturally, as Mac’s face filled the screen. “Hey!” he was loudly exclaiming as his own wifi caught up and Sid’s face loaded on his own phone. “Get settled in yet?”

“Oh yeah,” Sid replied. “Room is pretty sweet.” 

Sid took him on a virtual tour from his bed, showing him what his room looked like with the mattress and tv nearby next to the desk area with an accompanying coach and coffee table. He promised to text him pictures of the view of the city later and the stocked fridge he already did an inventory on. 

“Eh, I’ve seen better rooms,” Mac shrugged. He was secretly impressed but Sid never needed to know that. “Bet Ovi’s is bigger.” 

“Alright well what are you staying in then, all star?” 

Mac proceeded to show Sidney his room now, although his was much more of a mess. Colorado got in last night which meant Mac had more time to start throwing his laundry on beds and chairs and leave some of his snacks scattered across the various surfaces. 

“I see you’ve made yourself at home.” 

“What? You think I’m gonna be tidy if I’m stuck in here for weeks?” 

“I’m sure living in a 5 star hotel is miserable,” Sid laughed. 

“Let’s see how clean captain Crosby’s room is in a few days,” Mac was giving it right back to him, although he knew Sid was a much more tidy guy. 

They eventually moved on from their hotel rooms in their conversation as they caught the other up on the travels getting there, getting checked in, and even complaining about eventual guys they’d have to share hotels with. Being welcomed by security instead of fans outside the hotel was a weird feeling too. It was always nice to just unload some of the pressure off on each other too, since they were both considered the offensive lifelines of favorite teams and had a lot riding on them. 

One thing about their friendship that was mutually appreciated was that they both just understood the pressure. It was easier for Sid now, proving himself to the world with the trophies in his cabinet. He could take some of the weight off of Mac’s shoulders and help him through his own personal doubts and offer him advice that helped him get through some of his harder years. 

Sid thoroughly enjoyed the time he got to catch up with Mac, even if it was digitally. It wasn’t like he’d have the time to head over to Colorado during a normal playoff schedule anyways, this probably gave them more flexibility to talk. Their call was going on two hours when Sid heard the knock on Mac’s door through his phone speakers. 

“Get in here!” Mac yelled in response. 

Sid felt a little awkward. He wasn’t planning on having to share. “You expecting someone?”

“Just some of the guys,” Mac told him, but his attention was focused on Gabe and Burkie as they barged into the room. They both made themselves at home, Andre leaped into the spare bed as Gabe rolled in two suitcases. 

“Are those his?” Sid asked as he was able to watch everything unfold through the camera. 

Mac didn’t hear him. Instead he left his phone on the bed and got up to help Gabe put his own and Burkie’s belongings near the dressers. Sid heard Mac talking to him though, asking if that was everything, watching Gabe smile and respond with confirmation. 

Then he saw Andre in the corner of the screen go through the fridge, which was fully stocked, pulling out a drink for himself. It was then that it finally dawned on him they were all rooming together now. And for the foreseeable future. 

Sid didn’t know why he felt sad all of a sudden. Like the warmth in his body from the past few hours had vanished on him. His own isolation and loneliness was increasingly growing on him now that he was suddenly made aware of it. Nate got to spend the playoffs living with his team, Sid wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to go in the room next door. 

Mac finally came back to his phone. “Sorry, had to help the guys get settled.” 

Sid didn’t want to let Nate know for some unexplainable reason this bummed him out. But he needed to know for sure before he jumped to any conclusions. “You rooming with Landy and Burakovsky?” 

It’s not like they were being reckless, he didn’t understand where the jealousy rising in his chest was coming from. They’re on the same team, they’re stuck in the same place, if they were breaking any rules it wouldn’t be a major one.

Nate nodded. “They made some good company,” not really involved in the conversation anymore as the three of them tried to find a decent movie to watch as Gabe was flipping through the menu for room service. 

Sid was ahead a few hours and it was getting late. Thinking about how the three of them had more time together also didn’t help the jealousy he was trying to drown. He didn’t understand why his heart was hurting thinking about if Mac was sharing a bed with one of them. “Hey,” he exaggerated his yawn, “I think I’m gonna get some sleep. Talk to you later?” 

“Yeah man! See you later!” 

Hanging up, Sid went to change into something more comfortable to sleep in and shut the lights off as he crawled back into the bed. He tried not to let his insecurities and loneliness consume him as he fell asleep. 

//

Crosby was always one of the last guys to get off the ice at practice. Waking up with the leftover feelings of sadness harnessed in his body, he did his best to shake it off and distract himself with hockey, like he always had. 

He knew why he was jealous. From the minute he woke up, he could feel it in his chest and heart. Nate always had this endearing charm to him, and he loved him as much as one could love a best friend, until that wasn’t satisfying enough anymore. 

There were a few guys over the course of his career he was attracted to. But attraction is often a superficial thing, at least to him, until Mac came along. Sid knew the surge of jealousy and hurt could really only mean one thing: he was falling for his best friend. 

The only thing he could do was try to keep his mind off of it. 

Seeing the guys helped. Malkin did not obey the 6 feet rule by any circumstance with his all embracing bear hug. Being around his team for the first time in weeks lifted his spirits more than he realized he needed. 

Sidney was finishing up packing and changing in the dressing room when he realized he had gone over Pittsburgh's time slot allowed in the arena for practice. Some of the Flyers started trickling in, and not that they minded too much, but there was some annoyance. 

Sid was about exit through the door when he bumped into Hart who was entering. They awkwardly yet sweetly laughed as they both tried to stumble through the same door in opposite directions. 

“How was the ice?” Carter randomly spoke, turning his head after he made it through the door.

Sid picked up on the friendly, soft tone of the young goalie. He liked how his cheeks were already tinted red despite not even being near the rink. “Cold,” he grinned. 

“Real helpful,” Carter laughed. 

“It was good. Felt nice to be back.” Sid realized more Flyers were walking up behind him and he needed to get going. But he liked this moment with Carter and out of an impulse he didn’t know he had, he was inviting him over for dinner tonight at his room. His treat. Just friends. 

The young goaltender was slightly taken aback but flattered. “Yeah, that sounds nice, I’ll see you at 7?” 

“7 works!” Sid nodded as he headed out. “Room 1491”

The hours felt like eternity between leaving practice and 7:00. Crosby didn’t dare tell anyone on his own team he was spending time with a Flyer and Mac was heading to practice himself, so he guessed he could just fill him in later. Sid tried to push away the thought that Mac wouldn’t even care about his night anyways. 

Sid couldn’t remember the last time he was nervous about something other than hockey. He couldn’t even decide what to wear before settling on just some casual black pants and one of his adidas hoodies. Carter finally knocked on his door a few minutes past 7. Sid welcomed him in, he was wearing his Flyers locker tee and sweats.

They got through some small talk before skinning over the menu and ordering their respective dinners. Sid got himself and steak and Hartsy ordered some seafood for himself. It came reasonably quick and was better than they both expected for hotel room service standards. They filled the night with conversations about everything from playing hockey in Pennsylvania and how adjusting to this adaptable season was like to their own childhood introduction to the sport. 

He was nervous about being a young goalie in the playoffs. Worried that the time off could make him rusty too. With such an intense fanbase that have been waiting for another championship for so long, it was nice for Carter to vent to Sid cause he was someone who understood what it was like to have this enormous pressure placed on you. 

Carter was shy, as Sid expected, but he loosened up the longer they spent together. By the time he broke out of his shell, it was getting late, and they both realized this nearly perfect night had to wrap up. They still had a few more days before games were getting played, but maintaining a healthy sleep schedule was crucial right now.

“Vrana, you know him?” Carter randomly asked as he was getting ready to head to the door, making sure he had all his belongings. He tried to pay for his own meal, but Sid wouldn’t let him.

“A little,” Sid grunted. “Why?” 

“Him and Kuznetsov are having a little party tomorrow. Nothing serious or too big, should be safe, but maybe you wanted to pop in?” 

“I appreciate the offer,” Sid smiled, trying to keep his eyes off the ground. He always did that out of habit when he felt nervous. “But the guys on the Caps don’t really need me crashing their party.” 

“Aw come on,” Carter nudged him on the arm. “It’ll be lowkey and fun. I’m gonna go for a little bit with Hayes and I want you to come.” 

Sid was appreciative of his enthusiasm. It would be nice to socialize again. He finally got his mind off of Mac for a few hours and it would be helpful to keep it that way. Spending time with Carter again sounded great as well. “Alright, yeah, maybe I’ll swing by.” 

Hartsy grinned. They exchanged numbers before he headed to his floor and Sid got himself ready for bed again. He let himself open Mac’s messages, responding to him about how his day was. He kept it short and semi-dry. He didn’t lie when he told Nate he was busy, he just left out the important details. It was just easier to fall asleep that way. 

* * *

Sid never imagined himself walking down a hotel hallway with 2 Flyers and being happily greeted by an already intoxicated Evgeny Kuznetsov. 

Harts really had to explain what his definition of little and lowkey meant. There were at least 25 guys crammed into this suite with enough booze for double that number. It wasn’t a problem under a normal circumstance, but Sid wasn’t alone in being the only guy who didn’t want to get in trouble with the league. 

“Whose room is this anyways?” Sid asked Carter as they started walking around the room in search for somewhere to relax. He was just planning on staying for 20 minutes just in case they got busted. Although the music Jakub was blaring through his laptop and speakers as the unofficial DJ made relaxation seem impractical. 

“Someone told me it was Brad’s,” Carter yelled over the music. 

“Marchand?” Sid groaned. Their spot on the wall was less than ideal and Sid especially had no interest hanging around if he knew Bruins were expected to start showing up any time soon. 

Carter gave him a yeah in response before he was off in search for a drink. Sid missed those days as he watched him go off. Not that he didn’t know the party, but he missed the feeling of being young in the show and being able to go out and drink all the time without the same level of consequences in the morning.

He realized he was probably one of, if not the oldest guy in the room. A new wave of insecurity started to consume him. He should just leave the party now, which shouldn’t even be happening, and maybe he could get back to his own bed and facetime with Mac. 

Carter and Kevin came back with bottles of beer before Sid could sneak out on his new friends. Sid accepted Kevin’s offer and eagerly started chugging. He was stuck here now, not that it was so bad with Carter, but it was going to be a long night. 

The first hour went by casually. Sid downed a few beers and socialized in the room. He considered a few of the guys in there casual pals even if they were on rival teams. The more he got older, the less he cared about being supposed to hate a guy for the team he played on. Half of them didn’t even have a choice as to where they ended up. 

Sid didn’t spend the whole night with Carter, he did end up moving around and catching up with some of the guys in the league. But he kept tabs on where Carter was and how he was doing; Sid felt that somehow he was his responsibility in here even though he was sure he was used to partying in Philly anyways.

It was 2 AM when most of the room was empty. It was just Sid, Carter, Evgeny, and the unhealthy amount of Russian vodka Kuzy sneaked inside the hotel. Crosby didn’t even know where the hours went since he never checked his phone to see the time. He got so wrapped up in talking to as many people as he can and watching Carter to keep his mind off of Mac he accidentally spent the whole night ignoring all his texts. 

After so many years in the league and multiple cups, Sid could hold his liquor pretty well through experience, but he couldn’t deny how drunk he was as Carter was mumbling next to him. “I-I c-can’t feel my f-face,” he groaned, barely able to sit up straight. 

Evgeny, much more acquaintanced with the vodka, laughed. “Have you ever had that much alcohol before?” 

Carter hurryingly scattering to the bathroom with his hand clutched over his chest answered the Russian’s question. 

“Is he your date or something?” Evgeny mumbled, aware Hartsy couldn’t hear him with the door closed and his own problems to take off. 

Sid shook his head with a soft smile. “No, no we just kinda, started a friendship out of the blue the other day.” He didn’t really know what to call it. A distraction felt harsh, he genuinely enjoyed the time he shared with the goalie even if it only blossomed from needing to get away. “Kid is nice though.” 

“I’m glad you came, actually.” Kuzy spoke. 

“Me too. Didn’t want to crash a Caps party, but it was worth it.” 

“As much as we hate the Penguins,” he was swinging his empty bottle around, “most of us really don’t hate you.” 

Sid laughed again, this time from his chest. “Thanks man. Same to you.” The two of them clank their empty vodka bottles together. “Is this your room?” 

“All mine. Even now that it’s trashed. Me and Marchand planned to sneak the booze in for some fun nights.” 

“I didn’t see him tonight,” Sid mentioned, not that he was complaining.

“Said he was gonna swing by later, I don’t know what happened to him,” the Cap shrugged. “But his booze is gone so it’s his problem.” Sid nodded, comprehending the situation before Kuzy commented on their missing guest. “Your kid’s been in there a long time.” 

“Yeah, shit, I should check up on him.” Sid made his way to the bathroom to see Carter shirtless, a towel near his mouth as he was cleaning himself up. He looked vulnerable, reminding Sid of how much younger he really was. “You okay?” 

Carter moaned. “I’ll live.” 

“Come on,” Sid chuckled. “I gotta get you back to your room.” 

“No,” Hart pulled on his new friend’s hand, still drunk. “Just sit here with me for a minute, please?” Sid obliged, sitting himself down on the bathroom floor with both their backs against the bathtub. “Thanks for coming with me tonight.” 

“Thanks for the invite, I enjoyed it.” 

“I like spending time with you,” Carter confessed. “You’re a good friend.” 

Sid was about to return the compliment before Carter’s body started slouching and he tumbled into Sid’s lap. It was an novice thing, really, being so wasted you passed out in the random hotel bathroom on your new friend’s lap. 

But Crosby didn’t mind. He was feeling the effects now too, the tiredness in his bones overwhelming him. It was accidental, the way he felt comfortable enough the doze off in the bathroom, both of them needing only a few seconds before they were in slumber. 

//

Mac woke up the next morning, rolling over to check his phone, heart falling a little in his chest when he saw Sid hadn’t even texted him back yet. What was he even doing? It was never like him to make Mac wait. 

Nate went to get his mind off of his anxiety about being possibly ignored by opening up the socials. He scrolled through twitter mindlessly before going through his instagram stories. He saw a few of the guys from the other conference were posting pictures onto their burner accounts of various small parties across the two hotels. 

Nothing could have prepared him for opening up Marchand’s burner to see his best friend passed the fuck out with the Flyers goaltender asleep on his lap. 

Mac dropped the phone out of shock and took a few minutes to process what he just saw. Sid liked to party, but he always made his way back home. When did he fucking start hanging out with Carter? With Marchand? Was that why he didn’t have the time anymore to send a few simple texts? 

His heart rate started to pick up. Was Sid okay? Did he even make it back? Where was he now? He felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack and without thinking, he called the only guy he knew that would answer and drop anything to talk him through. 

“Nate, bro, what’s going on?” 

“Tyson, fuck, do you have a minute?” 

Mac explained the whole story to Barrie, starting at the beginning about how ever since their first facetime at the hotels Sid seemed off and now this. He knew he was overreacting but Sid was a mutual friend of theirs, he was confident Tys could help the best since he knew him already so well. 

“I don’t think he’s ignoring you, man,” Tys spoke calmly into the phone. “I think he’s just trying to get a few new friends while he’s stuck there and lost track of time.” 

“He already has fucking friends on the Penguins.” 

“You sound jealous.” 

“I’m not fucking jealous, Tyson.” 

“You sound mad too.” 

Nate sighed. “I guess I’m just worried about him. I miss him.” 

“That’s natural. Just call him later and sort things out. Tell him you want to schedule some time to call or chat or whatever you want,” Tyson suggested. “He’ll understand. I know it sucks right now but it’s only been a couple days.” 

“If he even bothers to pick up today.” 

“Nate,” Tys got more serious. “You’re surrounded by your own teammates and friends right now. Sid is still your best friend, so why are you even jealous?” 

“He just started ditching right after our first call. It’s not like him. After he saw Gabe and Andre it’s like he just forgot about me, Tys.” 

“Landy and Burkie?” 

“I told you I was rooming with them already.” 

“Did Sid?” 

“No,” Mac protested. “Why?” Tyson started laughing on the other line, which only infuriated Mac even more. “What the fuck are you laughing about?” 

“Bet you a grand that Sid got jealous of you being with your teammates and he’s trying to do the same to you.” 

“That’s stupid, Tyson.”

“I got practice in 20, I gotta go,” Barrie said. “I’ll call you when I get back, but just think about it for a few minutes, okay?” 

“Yeah alright. Don’t fuck up too much on the ice, Beauts.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” 

Nate hung up with Tyson and took his advice. Was that really the reason Sid hadn’t been himself the past few days? Mac put himself in Sid’s shoes and it made sense to him. Sid would bottle how he really felt and try to deal with it on his own like an idiot. He was stubborn like that.

He had so many questions. He just wanted to talk to his best friend and get things back to normal. He opened his text thread with Sid and told him he wanted to talk today before proceeding to throw it across the room so he wouldn’t end up starting at the screen praying for a reply. 

Sid did reply a few minutes later though. He’d call him around 6 for facetime. Mac didn’t know he could feel so relieved yet still so nervous.

* * *

6:07 and Sid was calling Nate for a facetime request, which he hurriedly accepted. “Hey,” he muttered under his breath when Sid came into view. 

“Hey Mac.” Sid seemed down, deflated. He was leaning back on the couch in his room but Nate could tell something was off. The dark circles under his eyes highlighted how white his face was, like all the color and life had been drained.

“How have you been?”

Sid ignored his question. “Are you alone?” 

“Yeah. Gabe and Burks are in Johnson’s room,” Mac nodded. “My request.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Sidney, what’s going on? You haven’t been yourself.” Mac only called him by his full first name when it was serious. And by the state of him, something was desperately wrong. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been answering you like I should,” Sid admitted. 

Nate awkwardly ran his hand over the back of his neck. He didn’t want Sid to feel bad, but he wanted him to know how nervous and confused he’d been the past few days. “I just want to know what’s going on with you? Tyson put a stupid idea in my head and I-” 

“You talked to Tyson?”

“Yeah. Earlier today, before he had practice.” 

Crosby’s eyes didn’t look into the camera as the sulk in his voice was undeniable. “Did he say anything? That stupid idea or whatever.” 

Nate was silent. Observing. The way Sid deflated immediately when he brought up Tyson was new; he was their mutual friend, he’d never had a problem with him before. Tyson’s jealousy theory seemed more and more probable to Nate as he stared at Sid, who was staring at the carpet with his deep breathing audible. 

“Sid,” Mac’s voice was faint. “Were you jealous?” 

Sid didn’t even have it in him to speak. He just nodded. He just felt ashamed that he was a grown man, who was surrounded by supportive teammates and more friends he could count, yet he couldn’t let his feelings surrounding Mac be rational ones. 

His eyes finally returned to the small camera on his phone when Mac spoke. “Me too.”

“Why were you jealous?” 

“Cause I fucking missed you,” Mac sighed. “It was like suddenly my best friend is gone during the strangest part of our careers. And I know it was only a few days but I know you’d be on my case.” 

“I’m sorry-” 

“And then just to see you partying with guys you don’t even know?” Mac’s temper was starting to boil inside of him. He wasn’t truly mad, but he was always an emotion on the sleeve type of guy, and there were too many emotions brewing inside of him to manage. “You get jealous of me spending time with my teammates but then go get blacked with the fucking Flylers?” 

“Nathan-” 

“Don’t fucking Nathan me, Sid.” 

“I went there to try to forget about you.” 

Sid’s demeanor was peaceful. Understanding. He was trying to explain the situation to Mac best he could so he could finally admit his feelings. Realizing how red Nate’s face was turning made him realize he didn’t plan his words as well as he should. 

“You want to fucking forget about me, Sid? You want to forget about the years we’ve been friends? Like it was nothing?” Mac’s phone was shaking as he stormed up towards the door. “Do I mean fucking nothing to you then?” 

“Nate, where are you going?” 

“Why do you care suddenly?” 

If Sid knew anything about Mac, it was that his impulsive nature got the best of him. He could be going for a walk, to get some air, or to do something completely stupider and leave the bubble and put his entire team in jeopardy. And he obviously couldn’t stop him. 

Sid never wanted to tell him what he was about to say in this manner. In his head, it was slightly more romantic, or at least more calmer. He wasn’t sure Mac would listen to reason unless he heard the exact thing he needed to consume. It wasn’t like Sid wanted to keep his feelings bottled for much longer anyways. 

Mac’s hand froze on the doorknob when he heard Sid speak. 

“I got jealous and ignored you because I realized I was starting to fall for you. I should have told you how I felt but I ran and I’m sorry.” 

Sid understood why Mac was speechless for the next minutes. He was just happy it made Mac turn around and sit on the edge of the bed. Though he wished he could see him after he sat his phone down on the bed and ran his hands through his hair. 

Mac was never great at trying to make sense of his complicated feelings. I mean of course he loved Sid, but did he love him? The feeling deep down in his chest suggested he did. He didn’t care if Sid had another friend, but he didn’t want that friend passed out asleep on him. That amount of vulnerability, that amount of trust, he wanted that to be an exclusive shared connection. 

He knew Sid well enough to know he wasn’t using Carter to get back at him. Sid got into these slumps where he felt isolated and burdenful. Mac knew it was good for him to be able to have some new friends around him, especially when he was going to be more alone than ever for the time being.

He sat on the bed, swarming in his thoughts. If Sid was here, he would just wrap his arms around him until his heart felt whole. But then he could see himself wrapping his fingers in Sid’s dark curls after he would kiss him. 

And that thought overwhelmed him in the best way possible. 

Mac picked up his phone. Seeing Sid’s face again flooded his sense with relief and security. He finally understood those were conditions of love, even he practically had to be hit over the head with them. “Will you wait for me?” 

Sid smiled. He was relieved too; Mac was finally back to his calm state but he figured Nate finally came to the same conclusion Sid came too a few days ago. 

“I’ll come to you as soon as the playoffs are done,” Nate pleaded. “I promise.” 

“I’ll wait for you, Mac.” 

Mac’s face was red again - but this time from the rush of happiness. It was the most clarity he’d felt in days. “Hey, Sid?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you too.”


End file.
